


The One With The Clown

by MsBluebell



Series: Give Me A Shot [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Autumn, Clowns, Fluff and Humor, Gay Keith (Voltron), Gen, Halloween, Lance (Voltron) is a Dork, M/M, Oblivious Keith (Voltron), Scary Clowns, Series of One Shots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-08
Updated: 2018-09-08
Packaged: 2019-07-08 17:38:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15935168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsBluebell/pseuds/MsBluebell
Summary: Keith punches a clown and gets a date with his childhood crush, Batman.





	The One With The Clown

Autumn was the best time of year for Keith’s headspace.

He appreciated the coolness of the air in autumn, there was a crisp cleanness to it that made him feel like everything would be okay, and the red and brown color of fallen leaves, flickering gently in the wind, was oddly comforting. And, much as he would deny it to Allura and _especially_  Shiro, he enjoyed the pumpkin spice lattes way too much.

He also liked a good excuse to wear his favorite jacket, a midriff that was warm enough for the coolness of the season but not for winter, or the giant cotton scarves that Coran loved to knit him because he was the only one that ever wore the things. He also had a weakness for the matching beanies that came with the scarves.

Then there were the other things that came with autumn that just _felt right_  for the season. Things like reading Sir Washington Irving’s works, which he was very appropriately and happily recently assigned to read in his Literature Class. And with the lingering feelings of Halloween right around the corner it just made the air around him feel _right_.

So, yes, autumn was usually when he was at his best mental health wise. That’s why it wasn’t too uncommon to find him taking brisk walks just after sunset. There was a great little cafe not too far off from his and Shiro’s place, and he liked to pick up a drink or two with a muffin whenever he was feeling particularly high on life, a rare occurrence. And, during the rare times this happened Shiro and Adam were more than encouraging.

It’s a little dark out, and he’s wearing a red scarf that’s twice his height and a matching beanie that Coran had charitably pinned a maple leaf to as a pre-thanks for picking him up a couple of the mini eclairs he loves from this place. He’s carrying a disposable tray (environmentally friendly! Throw it out and it has seeds on the inside that’ll grow!) full of different lattes and coffees, along with two paper bags worth of sweets meant for his four housemates. He’s drinking his own vanilla chai latte in a free hand, something Shiro and Adam were going to flip out about and judge him for later when they realized what his lactose intolerant ass had done, and balancing the other tray.

Overall it’s a peaceful night, the breeze feeling good against his warm hands, the smell of dried leaves surrounding him. It’s exactly the kind of night he loves, the sheer peace and calmness of it almost melting away the stress.

He takes a sip of his chai, letting the warm milk and spices roll over his tongue. He melts a bit, letting out a hum of satisfaction, as he closes his eyes for a moment and lets himself believe for a moment that everything in the world was okay.

And they were. He had a great family now, he was in school, and he finally had more good days then bad. His brother would be getting married soon, assuming he didn’t botch the proposal, and Coran and Allura were the best housemates he could ask for. Here he was, bag of sweets in hand, coffees warm against him, simply _breathing_  and enjoying life.

For about a minute.

He’s cutting through the park, making his way just past the semi-forested area when he hears a sudden scream followed closely by mad laughter that surprises him enough to flich and drop his coffees. He watches, horrified, as the warm drinks go flying out of their cups and all over the ground, sinking into the soil beneath. He scowls, a fresh wave of rage overcoming the previous calm, turning his face upward to see what the _hell_  was going on in the previously thought empty park.

He doesn’t expect to see Batman running from a clown.

Now, he’d heard rumors about the supposed Clown Epidemic going around lately. There had been a lot of sightings, and an incident when some kids were almost lured into the woods, but he hadn’t heard of anyone _really_  getting hurt. Overall, there had only been a few hundred sightings and not enough happening, Keith figured it was rare enough that he wouldn’t see one, or if he did they wouldn’t try shit.

This clown apparently didn’t get the memo, because he was running around waving a hatchet like a manic, which he clearly was. Batman, or the guy dressed like him, was running for his damned life, his cape billowing behinds him as he made his way across the dying grass, sensibly running for his damn life like Keith _should_  be doing.

But, God damn it, he can’t leave Batman to his bloody fate, especially after BoBo there had caused him to spill four cups of coffee.

This meant war.

For the coffee!

Keith doesn’t really think about it as he places down his bag of sweets and runs straight for the duo. Batman has tripped by now, his face hitting the ground, boots caught up in his cape. He’s struggling to get up, kicking his feet wildly as the clown catches up and raises his half rusted hatchet, ready to strike. He doesn’t know if it’s real or a realistic prop, but he doesn’t give much of a shit either. Batman is scared, trembling as he holds his hands up like a shield, trying to kick away even in the face of the inevitable. Keith, in all his pale, scarf covered, maple leaf glory lets out and enraged howl and tackles the bitch from the side, causing the bastard to let out a surprised yelp as they go flying.

They land on the ground and the struggle immediately begins. The clown is bigger than him, both in height and weight, and he’s struggling. Unfortunately for him Keith is used to fighting absolute beasts like Shiro, who this guy definitely isn’t on par with, and has a lifetime of the foster system behind him. It take Keith almost no time before he’s on top of this guy and wrestling the hatchet, which is real as it turns out, and tossing it out of his hands. He also socks the fucker in the face for good measure, and he doesn’t stop beating the asshole’s face in until he’s pushed off.

Instead of running away, the goddamned clown is trying to fight back now. Raising his fist like he’s going to try and hit him. Unfortunately for the clown fucker Keith’s legs are just as good as his fists, and a good kick to the balls isn’t too dirty for the noirette.

BoBo squeals like a fucking pig and goes down, grabbing his balls and falling to his knees, making pitiful noises like he thinks he deserves better after he spilled Keith’s coffee and tried to kill a person. Well, he doesn’t have any fucking patience left for that nonsense. He stands up, spitting on the ground before pulling his fist back and knocking the fucker against the temple.

The fucking clown goes down after that, nice and out cold. Good, let the asshole sleep for a bit. It’s what he deserved for spilling innocent coffee like that.

Keith narrows his eyes at the downed jerk, giving his head an experimental kick just to make _sure_  he was down and out. Satisfied that the manic didn’t get up, he turned towards where he’d last seen Batman.

Batman was still there, sitting on the ground with wide blown blue eyes, staring at Keith like he was the eighth wonder of the world or something. It was understandable, given that he was almost murdered.

“You okay there?” Keith askes, keeping one eye on the clown as he makes his way over towards the shell-shocked man, “Did he hurt you? Do you need to go to the hospital?”

Batman has tanned skin, sweaty and nervous from his chase, chest heaving and raising. He might be having a panic attack or something, so Keith’s going to have to try and deal with that while he calls the cops.

Keith reaches out, taking one of Batman’s hands and holding it, “Breathe for me, okay? I’m calling the cops now, you’re safe.”

 Batman wordlessly nods, his hand squeezing Keith’s tightly as he tries to find a pattern to breathe to. The pale youth pulls out his phone and calls emergency services, working through the story of what, exactly, had just happened to a baffled operator. They dispatch the police, asking him to stay on the phone just in case, which he agrees to without a fuss.

The clown is still down, and Keith doesn’t know what else to do to calm down the still hard breathing Batman other than talk, so he does just that, “So...how did this happen Batman?”

Definitely not the smoothest move, but Keith still gives himself a pat on the back for trying, even if his social ineptitude was showing.

“Dude.” Batman breathed, neverous chuckles breaking out of his mouth as he stares at the downed clown, hand tightening around Keith’s, “I knew he was hanging around, but I thought he just wanted to scare people.”

“So you dressed up as Batman and chased him?” Keith raised an eyebrow, trying to puzzle together what happened just incase the guy went back into shock or something before the police got here.

The guy gives another nervous laugh, “My niece and nephew wanted to go to the park man, but they were scared because they heard someone saw one of those clowns, so I dressed up as Batman so they wouldn’t be scared.”

Keith’s stomach drops, his face paling, “And...where are they now?”

“I took them home.” The guy nervously laughs, his hand vice-like, “I took them home, and then I cut through the part to get back to my apartment...and...and…”

“Holy shit.” Batman finally breaks out of his shock, “Holy shit! Gracious! Oh man. Dios mio. Thank you soooo much.”

“Hey, hey.” Keith tries to calm him down, awkwardly patting the guy’s back to settle him.

“No, you don’t understand.” The guy’s eyes are wide and locked on him, “You’re _Keith Kogane_  and you came out of nowhere like heaven’s hottest angel and _saved my life_.”

Wait? What?

“How do you know my name!?” Keith askes, baffled, his face redding a bit because apparently a compliment from a guy with an attractive jawline dressed as his secret childhood crush is more important to his stupid brain than the fact that someone was almost murdered by a _clown_.

“ _Dude_.” The guy breathes, eyes shining with something between awe and mad excitement, “It’s me, Lance, we share three classes. Neck and neck, remember? You probably can’t tell because of the mask.”

And then Batman takes off his mask and _holy shit_  he’s gorgeous. Hotter than Bruce Wayne for damn sure. Now Keith is starting to wish he paid more attention to his classmates because this guy was exactly his type; tall and lean and brunette with beautiful eyes that contrasted nicely. And this guy was in his classes? Shit.

“Sorry.” Keith spits, and holy shit, not now, this guy almost got murdered.

“I can’t believe you saved me man.” Lance breaths, “I guess your mullet isn’t that bad afterall.”

And just like that Keith’s interest was gone and he found it startlingly easy to focus back on the downed clown, “The police should be here soon.”

He could already hear the sounds of sirens in the distance, which was good, because it meant he could give his statement while an ambulance or something gave Lance a blanket. Then he could go home and everyone will be disappointed that he spilled their coffee.

“Keith.” Lance placed his hands on the noirette’s shoulders, turning him to face those blue, blue, shiny eyes, “I can’t believed you saved my life man. You...you…”

And then Lance’s lips are on his, and oh shit a cute guy was kissing him! The brunette’s tongue is licking at his, and shit he’s a damn good kisser, he can’t help but kiss back. Keith Kogane is being kissed by a cute boy on this blessed day! Shiro and Adam will be so proud!

Wait! No! Priorities!

The hazy fog of Keith’s mind is just rolling back and he’s getting ready to pull away and remind Lance that they’re in a _bit_ of a situation right now when the tanned youth does it himself, grinning happily like he’d just won the lottery. The police are here now, blue and red lights filling the area as police jump out of their car, and ambulance not far behind as it’s siren pierces the air.

“Hey, how ‘bout we deal with this first?” Lance says earnestly, eyes a bit soft, “Then I’ll take you out, a real thank you for saving my life.”

“Yeah.” Keith can only say dumbly.

“Great! Then it’s a date!” Lance exclaims excitedly as the cops surround them and pull him away, the clown also being whisked away by the blue dressed police.

And that’s sort of how Keith accidently scored a date with Batman while saving him from a murderous clown, a story which Shiro and Adam turned out not to approve of at _all_  when they came to the police station that night and became worse than any smothering parents ever could be. Though he suspects Shiro is just jealous because _he_  never got a shot with his childhood crush, Superman.

On a different note, Lance’s mom couldn’t stop kissing his cheeks until Adam had managed to pry him away, so at least he had it good with the potential future in laws.

**Author's Note:**

> Guess who can't storp writing stuff and decided to finally make one big, fat, fic to dump her ideas she may or may not expand on later. XD
> 
> Also, I just really want Keith to punch a clown.


End file.
